Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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