What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
