David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
