I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
