69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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