You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
