I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize