If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
handjob tips. give me some.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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