grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
