Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
