Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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