Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
