if you like me you must not know who I am
Someone shit on the floor
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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