That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
