Apparently you make a good broom.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The air was thick with penises
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
