She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
