she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
