I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
