Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
