His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
