Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
