After last night, I could never be a politician.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
