no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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