you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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