that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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