so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize