some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
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he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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