Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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