Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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