Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
