I'm really into asian looking animals
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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