i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
