my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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