he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
