I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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