Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
