I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
