physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
