508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
