She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize