I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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