I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
