why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
