I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
