Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
