What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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