I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize