i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
