You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
