idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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