I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
