he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we made out on top of his cat.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
