Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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