it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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