dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
