so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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