I puked a lego.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
