i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
