One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
