the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
