I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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