That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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